What's In A Name
April Fouille was no fool, however she was April Fouille, according to her birth certificate, April Jean Fouille. Spelt F-o-u-i-l-l-e. Pronounced 'fool'. If she could have lived in Quebec, perhaps it would have been pronounced 'Fou-ille' with heavy pronunciation on the 'ille'. But, born and raised on the prairies, there was no way Westerners were going to attach any kind of French pronunciation to her name, so over the years it became simply 'fool'.
April was still mad at her parents, even now that she was a woman. Surely they could have known the traumatic events that would unfold between dawn and noon each year on April 1st – April Fool's Day. And it truly was April Fouille's day, because this young lady was so named because it just so happens she was also born on April Fool's Day. April Jean Fouille – birth date, April 1, 1984, at 11:59 am.
Both parents had decided being that April was such a lovely month, and a wonderful name, that this is what their new cute bundle of joy shall be called. Besides that her Dad had winked, she's an April Fool's baby. What a joke. Surely April was the only one in the world with these birth circumstances and two totally weird parents.
Trepidation set in as April pulled the covers over her swollen belly on this eve of April Fool's Day and settled down for another rough nights sleep. She was nine months, 5 days, and as she had calculated, some 5 hours overdue. This she knew for sure because it was the last time she'd had sex, and the rotten no good for nothing father had skipped town. No matter, April thought, I wouldn't have married him anyway. What – with a last name like Showers.
The doctor said the baby could come any time. She couldn't wait. But the timing... well she thought disgustedly, no matter what she would NOT have the baby tomorrow. But, if she did, April knew definitely that if she had a girl, the baby would not be named after her.
Doziness finally set in, her eyelids becoming heavy, April drifted into a dream-like sleep where she traveled to the time of her childhood, reliving the events of those April Fool's days with agony.
There were the usual tricks such as saran wrap on the toilet seat (perhaps that one was meant more for her Dad). The phone call that school was cancelled, lucky enough April's mother never fell for that one and she was one of the few kids who showed up that morning.
Then there was the year old Mrs. Melrose (bless her heart) claimed there would be no joke playing, and anyone caught doing so would go to detention. Not one student play a joke that morning, and afterward, Mrs. Melrose said a simple "April Fool".
The worst one, which still brought tears to April's eyes, was in high school. She was madly in love with the captain of the volleyball team and they had been an item since the beginning of grade eleven. The boys had a game on March 31, but April couldn't make it because she had had a really bad flu. The next morning she had dragged herself to school just to see Josh and find out how the game had gone and if the team were on their way to the finals?
She was so sick, she forgot her books at home, but worst of all, she'd forgotten what day it was. Everyone in her class rushed up to her and said, "Didn't you hear?" Turns out Josh had tangled with a teammate and had gone down in the second period, his knee had extensive cartilage damage, he was in surgery and it was unknown if he would ever play again.
The kids sent her running off to the General Hospital. She spent an hour looking for Josh. No one knew where he was. Admitting suggested she try the Alberta Children's Hospital, so off went April. All the money she had was used up in cab fare. When she reached the Children's, Josh again was no where to be found. Where was he? By this time April had vomited three times, and the nurses were ready to admit her into the hospital. Feeling totally miserable, April finally collapsed on a chair in the lounge and had started crying. Several minutes later, Josh's voice had startled her, "Man girl, it was so funny watching you chase around the city looking for me. Must be love! And oh... by the way... April Fools, my cute little fool."
April tossed aside the heavy covers. The baby was doing the wave in her abdomen and she felt a jab under her rib. She smiled to herself when she remembered the slap across the face she had given Josh. He had deserved it. A week later she told him to drift. She didn't need someone that cruel in her life.
April went to the nursery and caressed the sides of the crib and ran her fingers over the flannel baby quilt. Looking out of the window she noticed the sky had lightened considerably and decided against going back to bed when suddenly she felt a warm sensation and a trickle running down between her thighs. Quickly she hiked her nightie through her legs and rushed to the bathroom. There her water broke with a vengeance.
"I guess it's meant to be." April groaned. She called her dad and by the time she had mopped up the floor with some towels and changed into a clean night gown he was knocking at the door.
"You know what day it is, don't you?" Dad greeted her with a wink.
She moaned in reply, her first contraction taking her by surprise.
"Perhaps its false labour."
"Funny Dad! Just open the car door." April ordered holding her belly like the beach ball that it was.
They reached the hospital in record time. Her Dad wanted to be a coach but had settled for chauffeur instead. April wanted this experience all to herself.
Things began to move quickly once she reached labour and delivery. Dawn turned into full morning with the hours passing, the minutes registered by the severity of contractions and the seconds in between. Once April reached the delivery room, the baby, anxious to join the world had come quite quickly.
She looked down at her newborn nestled against her breast and felt her heart swell. She kissed the soft downy head and smiled.
"Can we come in?" Mom poked her head around the door. "I want to meet my new grandchild."
"Of course," said April as she shifted the baby into the crook of her arm.
"Oh my!" Mom whispered in awe. "What a beautiful baby!"
"I'd like you to meet your grandson," said April with pride.
"What's his name?" Dad asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"Well..." April had thought long and hard for the last hour about what to call her son. She looked at the clock. It was five to twelve.
She looked at Dad with a grin on her face.
"I think I'll call him... Sue."
"But... But...a boy named Sue?" Dad sputtered.
"No worse than naming your daughter April on April Fool's Day, Mister Fouille," answered April haughtily.
April glanced at the clock. It was almost noon. She looked at her parents and laughed.
"April Fool!"
© April 2008, by Patricia L. Atchison. All rights Reserved. No part of this document may be printed, reproduced or photocopied either electronically or in any format without written permission from the author. See copyright
